Another room, another bed...

..Another city. I've slept on at least 50 different surfaces in the past year give or take. I am no longer travelling. I am a gypsy. I carry my life possessions on my back, when I leave them on the ground because they are too heavy to take to the bathroom with me, I realize that I don't care about them anyway so someone could take them, and I would be that much lighter for the next leg of my journey. I've found that I have a fondness for blankets or anything blanket like, my winter coat is quite like a blanket itself. Things that are multi-purpose are absolutely a blessing. I can see elements of Thai massage popping up in my life, although I did have a difficult time in Thailand emotionally, that experience is really paying off.

Things happen, at times they're really hard. Sometimes I've felt the most angry, scared, furious, humiliated, lonely, flipping high on life. All when I'm travelling. I'm addicted. It makes me feel ALIVE. I just want to transmit this feeling through my words, through my music, through my eyes. And I can. And I do. I have these insane, intense, overwhelming, beautiful connections with people that are from different places, live in a variety of locations. I miss them, but I appreciate their visit in my world, their gorgeous spirit that played with, danced with, dreamed with mine, intertwined...making....love. Not sex. Beautiful, passionate, intense, melding of spirits to create a baby of pure joy.

Right now I'm high, but days ago I was so low. Are these back and forth, ping ponging of emotions worth the effort? Would it be better to feeling somewhat closer to mellow all the time? It is an unanswerable question for me, I am torn between belly laughter and crushing merry go rounds of thought complete with the terrible music playing on repeat. Belly laughter. So hard that it hurts, you feel pain in your 'opu, you can't breathe, it even goes against your parasympathetic nervous system (unconscious bodily responses). It feels SO dang good. Even when I had stitches in my stomach from appendicitis, I remember laughing, oh did it hurt, but oh did I need to do it. Much thanks to Whitney French and Vanessa Delsooz for coming to my rescue in that hospital. Oh 17, how old I thought I was.

But am I so different now? I sometimes have epiphanies that I am still me. All the changes I have gone through, lifestyle, food I eat, where I live, what I'm doing, things I have learned. I am still essentially and totally myself. I just met someone I met when I was grade 6, I haven't seen them for years. And today we had a cup of tea like no time had passed. There is an essential 'something' that connects us to each other and that stays inside us for a long, long time. What is it?

I love so hard, so deeply my friends. The people that have been in my life an extended period of time. Also that I connected so deeply with. Connected. What is it? What does it mean? How does it happen? Why this person or not that one? Is it similarity, a fascination with difference, right place right time a random meeting in the world of possibility. I almost said universe, but sometimes I like to remember the sheer size of the universe. The fact that as a human being I CAN'T even comprehend it. HA. The smallness of our planet, our solar system, OUR galaxy. 

I saw one of the most amazing things when I was in Australia. I watched footage from the Hubble telescope in the largest Imax theatre in the world. It was so emotional. I was so surprised by my reaction. I would have never thought that I would have an 'emotional' reaction to such a thing. But it was so beautiful. They even showed the islands of Hawai'i from space, it was lovely. Just gorgeous. 

We'll, that was my rant for the evening. Thanks for listening.

Wandering spirits unite

I am a wanderer of the world. Thus the title vagabond. Even within one place, I seek adventure and the unknown. I seek others' perspectives and new tastes and sounds. I've been called indecisive, irresponsible, but I think I'm just curious. What is the difference between the east and the west of Canada? The difference between the US and Canada? The difference between Hawai'i and the US? There is no true answer from a personal perspective. Mine and others' experience of these places is difference. On paper you can compare stats and government practices, and weather. But while these factors play a part in one's experience of a place, they are far from the only factor.

For me it is often the people I meet, or don't meet, and connect with. I can deal with snow, rain, humidity, being arrested for in downtown Toronto, waiting for hours in a ER, but if there's no one to go tobogganing with or bring me a snack in the waiting room, or dance in the rain with, then life is a lot harder. And I don't mean a romantic partner, just another soul floating around in the universe to have good conversations with, to make fudge with, to give you a hug.

People that live in one place and never leave seem to get so caught up in their lives that they have a hard time including newcomers. I wouldn't have survive so long as a wanderer, without all the other wanderers that have shared many beautiful moments with me.

So this post is to them, thank you for sharing your beautiful spirits with me out there is the big bad world.

Love,

Rose